At twelve midnight all the lights are off in the house but the usual glow from my office. He cautiously peers inside to see what all the racket is about. I'm hunched over my sewing machine ripping the seam I tore apart three times before, stripped down to my bra with menopausal sweat dripping down my neck, and a glass of Chardonnay, he asks if I'm alright.
Let me preface this by saying I'm so lucky to have a patient, kind, empathetic, devoted husband who has willingly stuck it out for 27 years. To say I had a moment would be an understatement.
What was the impetus for my break down? That I didn't have a blog post to share with you this week. My head was racing with thoughts like; I'm going to loose readers if I don't have at least two posts per week. Who's going to want to come to my corner of the blogosphere if I have nothing to share? All the other bloggers are producing beautiful project posts multiple times per week so why can't I? All the other bloggers are actively engaged in social media so why can't I seem to find the time? Yadda yadda yadda
So what did my melt down come to teach me? Besides bursting the delusion that I'm 30 someth'n.
- Comparing myself to others is a dangerous and No Win path to walk down.
- I can't work 7 days per week and come out sane.
- Existing behind my four walls, most day in my pajamas, is malnourishing my spirit.
- My body can't survive on coffee and grazing.
- I need to regain balance by spending some time outdoors with nature.
- "Real time" relationships aren't going to wait around until I have time.
- Admitting that I'm struggling with recently becoming an empty nester - I miss my babies!
- Not being 150% engaged in my social media platforms isn't a mortal sin.
- The world won't end if I don't have at least 1 blog post per week.
- And that multi-tasking isn't my thang!
I also learned...
- I am blessed and grateful for being able to earn a living doing what I love!
- I am blessed to be actively engaged in my creative passion.
- I am blessed to have a husband that supports my blogging and furniture refinishing business.
- I am blessed to have two beautiful children who have become fine young adults who I adore and am so proud of.
- I am blessed to have wonderful loving and supportive people in my life.